My sifu, a very senior copywriter in a very international advertising agency, boasted to me that he had an ample choice of first-class English copywriters to choose from. He further bragged that it is because Dr. Mat had been so fore-sighted and this is the shining result.
It is also in the spirit of 1Malaysia. It is so glorious, tears are running down my face. Here then, for your reading pleasure, gentle reader, is an exemplary application letter:
Dear sir/madam,
Regarding on the matter above, I would like to emphasize myself towards writing and design as I have learnt and majored a Diploma in Advertising, Copywriting and Graphic Design Technology, from LimWhat’sThat* University Of Creative Technology. I have graduated this year Feb 2008 and worked in 3 companies as in the name of experience, and 3 years of working experience indeed.
Currently, I believe writing and design is the substantial structure for development in any sort of progressing career. My experience in copywriting and writing with graphic design in various fields of titles and subjects are to be pronounced my strength.
Besides skills and my grammatical supervision , I have gained knowledge in varieties of aspects and should determine my fluency when I communicate as a writer and designer in person.
Sincere to my imaginations and passion, ever since art and words were introduced in my dictionary, pages of it were remained still until today, shaping me for who I am. As for me my ability to see in words and arts lies and inducts diplomatic illusions of nature, thus today, words are our only source of communication, my only visionary of passion.
Here, my pal Marc T says: yea la… I was laughing so bad I nearly peed myself.
Yeah, writers pee on cue. But, let’s not waste time, we must continue with this aspiring copywriter’s humble achievements and capabilities:
Achievements I have made through out my college days and in work denotes the capability that I believe , there still holding to my philosophy. I have written and designed brochures for my 1st company on education and articles of my own , articles for magazines on the epitome of Art and Design, Scripts, Commercials, Organisations like The Rotary Clubs, Science and Technology.
In University, I have written story boards, advertisements, copywriting as the main base of my stand and designs. Introducing my own perceptions towards life and war, life and man kind and life under a roof.
With the 2nd company, I was mainly spotted designing art works and conceptual variations. I have proof read many of the copies before it was sent to the client. It was a practical task to be filled with determination and subjective reviews upon what was to come.
Marc T says: MCH**…. I nearly choked as I was reading this..nia ma… is this the standard of people that are coming out of Malaysian education institutions nowadays? I wanted to poke my eyes out…ermm… how do we term this ar?…illusions of grandeur ar?
so i says: no. . . just awesome england la. . .u no taste la u. . .
Marc T says: hahahaha please enlighten me after lunch great one…
I missed lunch to post this because it suddenly dawned on me. Niamah, now, I know why Miss P Khoo gave up her teaching career.
Can lose hair.
Can vomit blood.
But, not scared, I see it as a very positive development. Like this hor, I can still scratch a living, stringing a few words together until, until…ummm…at least 70…no 80…well, at least until these dudes improve their grammatical supervision skills and achieve their epitome under a proper roof.
Damn, this beats thinking about pussies.
*Name changed to protect identity
**Mah Cau Hai (my smelly pussy)
- if your application letter like the one above, i hire you
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