one colour, and are you colour blind?

This Nazri chap wrote an article in our former colonial master’s newspaper appropriately called “The Guardian” which you can read here at

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/nov/16/malaysia-race

He is in the opinion that in my bolehland, a promise to continue a race-based affirmative action policy will only entrench racism.

With apologies, I really must correct the misconceptions and opinions he has put forth…only slightly of course. Because I’m upset, again only slightly, that this Nazry writer who is now no longer in his motherland is not unlike a dog who is biting the hand that has fed him.

THIS is what he wrote, with a little help from me to tone down his rantings:

After South Africa and Rwanda’s heroic experiences, it might be expected that every country would want its citizens to be governed racially. But Malaysia considers itself an exception. Therefore, in the United States of Malaise, because it is such a fair country who listens attentively to the native people’s demands (66% of them) its leaders will give race-based policies a renewed stamp of approval.

Last month, prime minister Nah Raise vowed to continue a popular affirmative action policy that favours the nation’s Natives (the original, 0ne hundred per cent natives who make up for slightly more than half of its population – 66% to be exact) over the Chinese and Indian minorities (who landed earlier but never mind, they are not classified as natives and, most importantly, they don’t eat Boom Mee) who account for about 26% and 8% respectively.

The New Economic Policy (NEP), which will now be re-named the No End Policy, as this racialised national programme is known, was introduced nearly four decades back to raise the Natives’ share of the nation’s wealth from a meagre 1.5% to a more equitable 30% and create a Native middle class. To this end, the government imposed racial quotas in such spheres as education and business.

The quotas resulted in civil service scholarships being granted to Natives over more deserving minority candidates, and the same could be said of government jobs. Meanwhile, businesses must meet a minimum level of 30% ownership for Natives and other indigenous people. (This will soon be revised to 70%.)

While my motherland’s Chinese and Indian minorities were at first agreeable (the suckers!), the prolonged implementation of NEP-type policies has today left them feeling that it is only fair to give a generous hand-out to their fellow citizens, after-all it has worked wonderfully for over 50 years.

Many, especially the affluent Chinese, left the country (good riddance) to seek opportunities elsewhere. The largely working-class Indians were not as fortunate.

Ironically, a sizable segment of the Native population – from the middle and working classes – also began complaining about these policies on the grounds that they benefited only a select group of well-connected Natives which is a bunch of lies and rumours largely spread by ungrateful bloggers led by a fellow they call RPK. Some, like this Nazri writer chap must have left the country too.

Such discontent has led to the other suckers non-Natives registering their protest during last year’s general election by voting overwhelmingly for the opposition instead of the ruling coalition that comprises a hotchpotch of race-based parties headed by our Nah’s United Malaise National Organisation (UmNo).

Although we still won the polls, it took a severe hammering – losing our two-thirds parliamentary majority and the control of five states. But only temporarily, we will be...lying... laying new plans to deceive, I mean win the people in the next election. We already stole...won back one state legally.

Little wonder that UmNo which fashions itself as a party championing Native rights since its inception in 1946 has now decided to tone down (but only temporarily) its racial policies through a slew of reforms this year. Among others, it launched the “1Malaysia” concept (which is very different from the Malaysian Malaysia concept) to unite the nation’s racially-fractured citizens.

[Plan B: If they don't unite, we will force them to, but more of that later.]

The Crime Minister also announced that a merit-based scholarship open to all races will be introduced next year.

Or in 2011.

Or in 2012, when it’s nearer the elections.

While many analysts are quick to proclaim that UmNo is now a transformed political entity, evidence that it has moved past racialism is sparse. For one thing, the tenets of “1Malaysia” are still nebulous at this juncture.

[Note to self: round up all the "many" analysts for a cup of tea soonest; book 14th floor interview room.]

Yet the most telling sign could be gleaned from the rhetoric of its up-and-coming politician Khairy Jamaluddin who wants the party to discard its ideology of “Native dominance” for “Naive Native leadership”. Herein lies the crux of the problem. The pith of the “Native leadership” ideal is no different from “Native dominance” – Natives are to reign supreme over other races. In its basest form, “Malay leadership” resonates of the “Hutu Power” ideology in Rwanda and the white supremacist slant of South Africa’s apartheid where one race dominates over others.

[what no difference? we lead, the other suckers follow...earlier, we hold up butter knife, they all bow down]

Instead of eradicating the country’s decades-long racialism, its ruling elites look set to entrench it further into the system by making it subtle.


Subtle is effective. Apparently, this has been most successful as our Most Distinguished Honourable Crime Minister’s ratings have shot up. This has nothing to do with our Public Relations agency’s advice or strategies or propoganda.

The 20-million Ringgit retainer fee is also a wild rumour spread by pesky bloggers who have nothing better to do. Most of them are housewives who never listen to important Main Stream Media news that we spew and spin for them anyway, so they know absolutely nothing.

In fact they are all colour blind, whatever that means. There is only one colour – and it’s not…

*ring* ring*

Damn. Always he must call when I’m about to reveal the juiciest bit…

OK. Like I said: 1 colour rules. And I need another 100 years.

BTW, thanks a billion, suckers.