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bakarmerah: burn, burn, burn. . .burning off all the stuff inside my head. . .
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
more talk
some talk
I
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Monday, 2 March 2009
VOTE EARTH
YOUR LIGHT SWITCH IS YOUR VOTE
This year, Earth Hour has been transformed into the world’s first global election, between Earth and global warming.
For the first time in history, people of all ages, nationalities, race and background have the opportunity to use their light switch as their vote – Switching off your lights is a vote for Earth, or leaving them on is a vote for global warming. WWF are urging the world to VOTE EARTH and reach the target of 1 billion votes, which will be presented to world leaders at the Global Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen 2009.
This meeting will determine official government policies to take action against global warming, which will replace the Kyoto Protocol. It is the chance for the people of the world to make their voice heard.
Earth Hour began in Sydney in 2007, when 2.2 million homes and businesses switched off their lights for one hour. In 2008 the message had grown into a global sustainability movement, with 50 million people switching off their lights. Global landmarks such as the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, Rome’s Colosseum, the Sydney Opera House and the Coca Cola billboard in Times Square all stood in darkness.
In 2009, Earth Hour is being taken to the next level, with the goal of 1 billion people switching off their lights as part of a global vote. Unlike any election in history, it is not about what country you’re from, but instead, what planet you’re from. VOTE EARTH is a global call to action for every individual, every business, and every community. A call to stand up and take control over the future of our planet. Over 74 countries and territories have pledged their support to VOTE EARTH during Earth Hour 2009, and this number is growing everyday.
We all have a vote, and every single vote counts. Together we can take control of the future of our planet, for future generations.
VOTE EARTH by simply switching off your lights for one hour, and join the world for Earth Hour.
Saturday, March 28, 8:30-9:30pm.
SOURCE ---- http://www.earthhour.org/
Sunday, 1 March 2009
Ladies: How to Break Up with a Guy by Dan Bova
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We know that breaking up really is hard to do, but there are techniques you can employ to make things go as smoothly as possible. Read on, ladies, for advice that will help ensure a firm, adult, parting of the ways.
Let's face it, there are no easy ways to end a relationship. But if you understand what really makes men tick, there are ways to make it a little less horrible. Here are some insider tips from the mouths of the broken-hearted — and some love gurus — on how to let a guy down easy. Use them next time you need a send a fella packin'.
Be definitive
When telling a guy that it is over, be clear that it is absolutely, positively O-V-E-R. "Sometimes we may be inclined to leave the door open — either to leave options open for ourselves or to soften the blow of the breakup for the other person — but this is dangerous territory," says April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League.
It might seem nice to offer the possibility that one day in the future, you two will find your way back into each other's arms, but all this does is give the poor sap false hope. And with false hope come drunken calls at 3 a.m. asking if you're ready to take him back yet. "Make it clear that he needs to move on," says John Seeley, M.A., author of Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. "Guys would rather hear the truth and then know what they need to do to move forward in their lives."
Don't let him be the last to know
Sure, talking through your feelings with a friend can be helpful when working up the courage to break things off, but try to limit yourself to how many people hear the test-run of your dumping speech. Eventually, some one is going to blab, and as any guy will tell you, being the last to know that you've been dumped is not fun. "My best friend told me that he heard my girlfriend was thinking of breaking up with me," says Dave, 32, from Long Island, NY. "I later found out that all of my friends knew before I did. I was so pissed off and humiliated. I felt like the biggest fool on earth, walking around telling every one how in love I was, and all of them knowing she was about to can me. It was the worst."
Don't use a keyboard
The Internet is great for many things: Locating discount airfares, paying credit card bills, wasting hundreds of hours looking at weird sites; the list goes on and on. But one thing that is not on that list and never should be is dropping a boyfriend like a bad habit. "My ex dumped me twice online," says Chris, 31, from Washington, MO. "Once by email after we'd spent the weekend together; the second time over IM. At least 'woman up' and tell me in person!"
Seriously, canceling a relationship like a credit card will put you in his Worst Girlfriend Hall of Fame for life. "Answering machine, emails, Post-its and faxes are not cool ways to break up," says April Masini. "If you've spent more than three dates with the person — or if you've slept together — you owe him a face-to-face sit-down." If you're a total coward, the phone can be an acceptable termination device—but only for short-term relationships.
Steer clear of fake excuses
OK, you don't have to tell someone point-blank that he is boring, weird, smelly or all of the above, but lying your way out of a relationship is almost always going to backfire. He'll feel twice as bad when he learns the truth, and you'll feel like an idiot. "I went out a few times with this chick, and we talked a few times afterward," says John, 34, from Virginia. "She worked as a government contractor at a submarine base and told me she'd been accepted to a top-secret program in Arizona that would last at least six months.
Long story short: She was lying, and I bumped into her a month later. And this was after we had a conversation about how lame it was when people couldn't be honest!" If you want either one of you to maintain your dignity, tell him the truth.
You don't have to be brutally honest, though. "I just don't feel a connection with you" is a perfectly good way of saying, "You are too ugly" or "I didn't know someone could kiss that badly." Be brief"Keep it short and sweet," says Stephany Alexander, relationship expert at womansavers.com. Unless you've been together for years and years, no breakup should last more than 30 minutes. You don't need to give him every reason you want to end things: Just name one or two major problems, and be done with it.
The last thing you want is having him interpret your litany of ways he's a loser as things he can change to win you back. Make it clear that this isn't a negotiation. It may seem cruel to be brusque, but like ripping off a Band-Aid, the faster you do it, the faster you'll feel better.
Avoid the drama
A guy with wounded pride and hurt feelings can get verbally abusive. Try to diffuse the situation with silence. "Don't engage with him," says April Masini. "Listen. Be quiet. Don't respond." Don't fuel the fire by defending yourself. Let him get it all out, then leave. If you're worried that the guy might hurt himself or someone else in the wake of your breakup, call a counselor or a police officer. Trying to take on a dangerous situation by yourself is just that — dangerous.
Secure a break-up buddy
"Breaking up can be overwhelming," says April Masini, "and it may cause you to want to call your ex for contact or comfort. After you break up, have plans to meet with a friend. Debrief over lunch and a movie." Remove his number from your cell phone while you're at it. Post-breakup conversations tend to lead to post-breakup sex, and next thing you know, you're having brunch together and wondering how the heck you wound up with this guy again.
If you want to touch base to see how he's doing, give it a couple of months at least. If he's still sweet on you, any contact (no matter how innocent) is going to be interpreted as a ray of hope that love will spring again.
Dan Bova is an executive editor of Stuff magazine.
For the woman's perspective on breakups, read Guys: How to Break Up with a Woman.
We know that breaking up really is hard to do, but there are techniques you can employ to make things go as smoothly as possible. Read on, ladies, for advice that will help ensure a firm, adult, parting of the ways.
Let's face it, there are no easy ways to end a relationship. But if you understand what really makes men tick, there are ways to make it a little less horrible. Here are some insider tips from the mouths of the broken-hearted — and some love gurus — on how to let a guy down easy. Use them next time you need a send a fella packin'.
Be definitive
When telling a guy that it is over, be clear that it is absolutely, positively O-V-E-R. "Sometimes we may be inclined to leave the door open — either to leave options open for ourselves or to soften the blow of the breakup for the other person — but this is dangerous territory," says April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League.
It might seem nice to offer the possibility that one day in the future, you two will find your way back into each other's arms, but all this does is give the poor sap false hope. And with false hope come drunken calls at 3 a.m. asking if you're ready to take him back yet. "Make it clear that he needs to move on," says John Seeley, M.A., author of Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. "Guys would rather hear the truth and then know what they need to do to move forward in their lives."
Don't let him be the last to know
Sure, talking through your feelings with a friend can be helpful when working up the courage to break things off, but try to limit yourself to how many people hear the test-run of your dumping speech. Eventually, some one is going to blab, and as any guy will tell you, being the last to know that you've been dumped is not fun. "My best friend told me that he heard my girlfriend was thinking of breaking up with me," says Dave, 32, from Long Island, NY. "I later found out that all of my friends knew before I did. I was so pissed off and humiliated. I felt like the biggest fool on earth, walking around telling every one how in love I was, and all of them knowing she was about to can me. It was the worst."
Don't use a keyboard
The Internet is great for many things: Locating discount airfares, paying credit card bills, wasting hundreds of hours looking at weird sites; the list goes on and on. But one thing that is not on that list and never should be is dropping a boyfriend like a bad habit. "My ex dumped me twice online," says Chris, 31, from Washington, MO. "Once by email after we'd spent the weekend together; the second time over IM. At least 'woman up' and tell me in person!"
Seriously, canceling a relationship like a credit card will put you in his Worst Girlfriend Hall of Fame for life. "Answering machine, emails, Post-its and faxes are not cool ways to break up," says April Masini. "If you've spent more than three dates with the person — or if you've slept together — you owe him a face-to-face sit-down." If you're a total coward, the phone can be an acceptable termination device—but only for short-term relationships.
Steer clear of fake excuses
OK, you don't have to tell someone point-blank that he is boring, weird, smelly or all of the above, but lying your way out of a relationship is almost always going to backfire. He'll feel twice as bad when he learns the truth, and you'll feel like an idiot. "I went out a few times with this chick, and we talked a few times afterward," says John, 34, from Virginia. "She worked as a government contractor at a submarine base and told me she'd been accepted to a top-secret program in Arizona that would last at least six months.
Long story short: She was lying, and I bumped into her a month later. And this was after we had a conversation about how lame it was when people couldn't be honest!" If you want either one of you to maintain your dignity, tell him the truth.
You don't have to be brutally honest, though. "I just don't feel a connection with you" is a perfectly good way of saying, "You are too ugly" or "I didn't know someone could kiss that badly." Be brief"Keep it short and sweet," says Stephany Alexander, relationship expert at womansavers.com. Unless you've been together for years and years, no breakup should last more than 30 minutes. You don't need to give him every reason you want to end things: Just name one or two major problems, and be done with it.
The last thing you want is having him interpret your litany of ways he's a loser as things he can change to win you back. Make it clear that this isn't a negotiation. It may seem cruel to be brusque, but like ripping off a Band-Aid, the faster you do it, the faster you'll feel better.
Avoid the drama
A guy with wounded pride and hurt feelings can get verbally abusive. Try to diffuse the situation with silence. "Don't engage with him," says April Masini. "Listen. Be quiet. Don't respond." Don't fuel the fire by defending yourself. Let him get it all out, then leave. If you're worried that the guy might hurt himself or someone else in the wake of your breakup, call a counselor or a police officer. Trying to take on a dangerous situation by yourself is just that — dangerous.
Secure a break-up buddy
"Breaking up can be overwhelming," says April Masini, "and it may cause you to want to call your ex for contact or comfort. After you break up, have plans to meet with a friend. Debrief over lunch and a movie." Remove his number from your cell phone while you're at it. Post-breakup conversations tend to lead to post-breakup sex, and next thing you know, you're having brunch together and wondering how the heck you wound up with this guy again.
If you want to touch base to see how he's doing, give it a couple of months at least. If he's still sweet on you, any contact (no matter how innocent) is going to be interpreted as a ray of hope that love will spring again.
Dan Bova is an executive editor of Stuff magazine.
For the woman's perspective on breakups, read Guys: How to Break Up with a Woman.
Saturday, 7 February 2009
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
HOW to reply to her polite insults?
Your ma gives you every thing. Your pa gives you nothing.
Yeah, right.
No more problem(s) then eh?
I'm sure a 16-year old can figure that one out.
PS And Christians sometimes just don't give you the other cheek to slap. Well, after they have been trampled on repeatedly.
And when I'm old and feeble, why would I want to have to spend time with a spoiled, angry, insulting daughter anyway?
Yeah, right.
No more problem(s) then eh?
I'm sure a 16-year old can figure that one out.
PS And Christians sometimes just don't give you the other cheek to slap. Well, after they have been trampled on repeatedly.
And when I'm old and feeble, why would I want to have to spend time with a spoiled, angry, insulting daughter anyway?
a request for a camera, for the THIRD time
Well, since my dotter has got one camera stolen, broke another, I offered to loan her mine. Then I found out, her ma (my ex-wife) had one too. So, I proposed she loan it from her.
Here's her reply. Enjoy:
"SHE USES IT EVERYDAY.
I need to bring it to school everyday. What's ur freaking problem?? I'm asking a favour from you. You have to get me angry and make me beg you for it. Mum gives me everything. What did you give me?? I have to ask you only get. What's wrong with you!?
Lifeless pics is not as important as ur daughter's job in school !!
Who wants to see ur pics?? Yourself? For wat ?? I need pics the whole school will see!
Stop being so selfish ! Doing this wont do you any good for goodness sake! You think i'll actually spend time to take care of you when ur so freaking old and feeble?? Why are you making ur daughter's life so miserable?
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ?????
Don't tell me ur dad did this to you too so you decide to follow him . Ur suppose to learn from his mistakes !! Even a 16 year old knows that . Ur a 52 year old CHRISTIAN!"
Here's her reply. Enjoy:
"SHE USES IT EVERYDAY.
I need to bring it to school everyday. What's ur freaking problem?? I'm asking a favour from you. You have to get me angry and make me beg you for it. Mum gives me everything. What did you give me?? I have to ask you only get. What's wrong with you!?
Lifeless pics is not as important as ur daughter's job in school !!
Who wants to see ur pics?? Yourself? For wat ?? I need pics the whole school will see!
Stop being so selfish ! Doing this wont do you any good for goodness sake! You think i'll actually spend time to take care of you when ur so freaking old and feeble?? Why are you making ur daughter's life so miserable?
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ?????
Don't tell me ur dad did this to you too so you decide to follow him . Ur suppose to learn from his mistakes !! Even a 16 year old knows that . Ur a 52 year old CHRISTIAN!"
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Thursday, 15 January 2009
What can possibly go wrong?
Murphy's Law emerged in its modern form no later than 1952, as an epigraph to a mountaineering book by Jack Sack, who described it as an "ancient mountaineering adage":Anything that can possibly go wrong, does.
But there are other variations.
The following article about its origin was excerpted from The Desert Wings (March 3, 1978)
Murphy's Law ("If anything can go wrong, it will") was born at Edwards Air Force Base in 1949 at North Base.
It was named after Capt. Edward A. Murphy, an engineer working on Air Force Project MX981, (a project) designed to see how much sudden deceleration a person can stand in a crash.
One day, after finding that a transducer was wired wrong, he cursed the technician responsible and said, "If there is any way to do it wrong, he'll find it."
The contractor's project manager kept a list of "laws" and added this one, which he called Murphy's Law.
Actually, what he did was take an old law that had been around for years in a more basic form and give it a name.
Shortly afterwards, the Air Force doctor (Dr. John Paul Stapp) who rode a sled on the deceleration track to a stop, pulling 40 Gs, gave a press conference. He said that their good safety record on the project was due to a firm belief in Murphy's Law and in the necessity to try and circumvent it.
Aerospace manufacturers picked it up and used it widely in their ads during the next few months, and soon it was being quoted in many news and magazine articles. Murphy's Law was born.
The Northrop project manager, George E. Nichols, had a few laws of his own. Nichols' Fourth Law says, "Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome."
The doctor, well-known Col. John P. Stapp, had a paradox: Stapp's Ironical Paradox, which says, "The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle."
Nichols is still around. At NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena, he's the quality control manager for the Viking project to send an unmanned spacecraft to Mars.
Another alternative origin to Murphy's Law attributes the saying to an accident. Although unsubstantiated, it has been discussed and asserted by former colleagues of the person named Murphy in this account.
To wit: Ben Murphy, in the mid 1930s, was a radio broadcasting engineer who was often sent on assignment to provide technical support for remote radio broadcasts. Supposedly, he worked for the Pacific regional division of the (then) NBC radio network. Murphy, an assistant, and an announcer were sent on assignment to the area of Capistrano, California to broadcast live via special telephone line hookup, the famous and annual return of the Cliff Swallows (small birds) to that area from their winter migration to Argentina. A noted phrase evoked by this regular migratory habit was coined: "as reliable as the return of the swallows to Capistrano".
After lugging heavy electronic equipment up a small hillside, stringing hundreds of feet of communications cabling, being soaked by unexpected rainfall, beset by angry townspeople, stung by various insects and generally being harassed by nature and humans alike, Murphy and his companions were attempting to plant a microphone in the rock cliffs surrounding the town of San Juan Capistrano in order to capture the sound of the beating of thousands of birds' wings as the swallows returned to make their summer nests. Murphy lost his footing and tumbled down the cliff to a small flat area. Although alive, he was injured, breaking several bones and sustaining multiple scrapes and other wounds.
He was rescued and transported to hospital, and en route he learned that they had missed the annual event by several days; the birds had returned and had made their nests a week earlier, so all Murphy's hard work and subsequent injuries were essentially in vain.
Ben Murphy was supposedly overheard to say (in response to comments from his two fellow broadcasters) that: "If anything could have gone wrong with this assignment, it sure did!"
Although no further mention is ever made in radio broadcasting annals, Murphy is said to have survived and continued to work for NBC as a remote broadcast engineer until his retirement, some time in the 1950s.
Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law
http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-true.html
But there are other variations.
The following article about its origin was excerpted from The Desert Wings (March 3, 1978)
Murphy's Law ("If anything can go wrong, it will") was born at Edwards Air Force Base in 1949 at North Base.
It was named after Capt. Edward A. Murphy, an engineer working on Air Force Project MX981, (a project) designed to see how much sudden deceleration a person can stand in a crash.
One day, after finding that a transducer was wired wrong, he cursed the technician responsible and said, "If there is any way to do it wrong, he'll find it."
The contractor's project manager kept a list of "laws" and added this one, which he called Murphy's Law.
Actually, what he did was take an old law that had been around for years in a more basic form and give it a name.
Shortly afterwards, the Air Force doctor (Dr. John Paul Stapp) who rode a sled on the deceleration track to a stop, pulling 40 Gs, gave a press conference. He said that their good safety record on the project was due to a firm belief in Murphy's Law and in the necessity to try and circumvent it.
Aerospace manufacturers picked it up and used it widely in their ads during the next few months, and soon it was being quoted in many news and magazine articles. Murphy's Law was born.
The Northrop project manager, George E. Nichols, had a few laws of his own. Nichols' Fourth Law says, "Avoid any action with an unacceptable outcome."
The doctor, well-known Col. John P. Stapp, had a paradox: Stapp's Ironical Paradox, which says, "The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle."
Nichols is still around. At NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena, he's the quality control manager for the Viking project to send an unmanned spacecraft to Mars.
Another alternative origin to Murphy's Law attributes the saying to an accident. Although unsubstantiated, it has been discussed and asserted by former colleagues of the person named Murphy in this account.
To wit: Ben Murphy, in the mid 1930s, was a radio broadcasting engineer who was often sent on assignment to provide technical support for remote radio broadcasts. Supposedly, he worked for the Pacific regional division of the (then) NBC radio network. Murphy, an assistant, and an announcer were sent on assignment to the area of Capistrano, California to broadcast live via special telephone line hookup, the famous and annual return of the Cliff Swallows (small birds) to that area from their winter migration to Argentina. A noted phrase evoked by this regular migratory habit was coined: "as reliable as the return of the swallows to Capistrano".
After lugging heavy electronic equipment up a small hillside, stringing hundreds of feet of communications cabling, being soaked by unexpected rainfall, beset by angry townspeople, stung by various insects and generally being harassed by nature and humans alike, Murphy and his companions were attempting to plant a microphone in the rock cliffs surrounding the town of San Juan Capistrano in order to capture the sound of the beating of thousands of birds' wings as the swallows returned to make their summer nests. Murphy lost his footing and tumbled down the cliff to a small flat area. Although alive, he was injured, breaking several bones and sustaining multiple scrapes and other wounds.
He was rescued and transported to hospital, and en route he learned that they had missed the annual event by several days; the birds had returned and had made their nests a week earlier, so all Murphy's hard work and subsequent injuries were essentially in vain.
Ben Murphy was supposedly overheard to say (in response to comments from his two fellow broadcasters) that: "If anything could have gone wrong with this assignment, it sure did!"
Although no further mention is ever made in radio broadcasting annals, Murphy is said to have survived and continued to work for NBC as a remote broadcast engineer until his retirement, some time in the 1950s.
Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law
http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-true.html
Monday, 12 January 2009
"My Teenage Daughter Is Ruining Our Marriage"
By Margery D. RosenAdd
Her teenage daughter from her first marriage and her second husband have never seen eye-to-eye. Now that she's a teenager, trouble seems to erupt at every opportunity and their marriage is suffering…
Her Turn
"I adore my husband, John, but my daughter is making us miserable," said a weary Lisa, 39, who's been married for six years and has two children, Ali, 16, and Cara, 12, from her first marriage. "Ali was 5 when her dad and I split up, and the divorce was rough on her. Now, 11 years later, Ali's still acting out, being disrespectful and insensitive to other people's feelings.
"Ken, my ex, is making matters worse. Suddenly this irresponsible father wants Ali to live with him. He tells her he won't impose a curfew the way John and I do — a perfectly reasonable 11:30 p.m. on weekends. He's even promised her a car! This kind of pie-in-the-sky nonsense is so typical of him.
"Ken and I got together at 17, married at 21 and divorced at 28. At first I was too young, or too infatuated, to notice how immature he was. Even after I wised up I struggled for years to make our marriage work. I wanted to get counseling, but he refused. Yet he was shocked when I left. That says it all.
"He has never remarried, and I think he's still mad at me for leaving because he never misses a chance to make my life difficult. To this day he'll promise to take the kids for the weekend, then never show. I can't count the times I've driven them over to his house only to find him gone. Or he'll drop the girls off hours behind schedule, throwing a wrench into our plans. This infuriates John, who then gets pulled into absurd arguments with Ken.
"The irony is that I tried so hard to do everything right. I met John four years after my divorce. He was charming, generous, and successful — he owns a printing business here in New York City — and I knew immediately I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But when it came to introducing him into the kids' lives, I took it slowly, as the experts advise. Cara is crazy about John, but he and Ali butted heads from the get-go."
"And it's not all her fault. John is a 'because-I-said-so' parent, whereas I try to explain my position and listen to the kids' side. John thinks I'm a pushover, that I'm too nice with them. Well, I've been told I'm too nice my entire life. I don't know any other way to be. I was an only child; my mother was a nurse and my father, who was an alcoholic, owned a dry-cleaning business. I spent most of my childhood trying to make my mother happy, without much success. She finally divorced my dad when I was in college.
"Now I feel like I'm headed for another divorce. Things really fell apart last Friday. I was still at the office — I'm a bookkeeper at a software firm — when John called, furious. Ali had been on the phone for three hours, ignoring the call-waiting signal so the auto mechanic he needed to speak to couldn't get through. Excuse me? He interrupts me at work to complain about the commonest teen behavior imaginable?
"When I got home John started yelling at me, which set me off. It was surreal — the two of us in this face-off, getting madder by the minute. And we never used to even raise our voices to each other.
"Then, as Ali was leaving to meet a friend, I noticed she was wearing her sister's necklace. Cara was at soccer practice and couldn't have given Ali permission to wear it, so I asked her to take it off. She refused and shoved me out of the way, knocking my head against the banister. John grabbed Ali's arm and she erupted like a volcano, racing to the phone and calling the police. Two police cars roared up to the house and an officer took her statement. Fortunately, she had calmed down somewhat and the police concluded that it was a false alarm. But after they left, John looked me in the eye, said, 'When she makes it to Broadway, give me a call,' and stomped out. I spent two hours in tears before he came back. He apologized, but I just feel so hopeless, like I'm losing my daughter and my marriage."
His Turn
"My stepdaughter has hijacked our marriage," said John, 52. "Ali was 9 when her mom and I met, and I really wanted to love her. But this kid has been a handful from day one. Cara, the little one, is flexible and lighthearted, but Ali is tightly wound and stubborn. She blames me for her parents' divorce, even though Lisa and I met years afterward. In her mixed-up mind, her parents would have gotten back together if I'd never come along.
"It kills me to see how torn up Lisa is about Ali. The spunky, upbeat woman I fell in love with is anxious and tearful, always waiting for the next storm to blow in. And it always does. We've tried grounding Ali, taking away privileges, bending over backward to please her. Nothing works. Nothing. She's always nasty. Believe me, this behavior wouldn't have been tolerated when I was a kid. My parents were old-fashioned, and when my dad gave an order, my brother and I followed it or faced the consequences.
"I'm not proud of the way I handle Ken, either, but the guy gets under my skin. Whenever Lisa and I have something special to do, he manages to mess it up. One Sunday a few years ago we were getting ready to go to my parents' 50th wedding anniversary party and had no idea where the girls were. When Ken finally showed up with them three hours late — he'd 'lost track of time,' he said, and didn't have his cell phone with him — I lit into him and the two of us ended up in an ugly shouting match. That still happens more often than I care to admit, even though Lisa always tells me it's pointless to engage him.
"Lisa actually makes things easier for him. He can barely be bothered to have the girls at his place, so she'll be the one who drives them there. My wife is loving, thoughtful, and kind to a fault. She hates it when people say she's too nice, but it's true. She lets people walk all over her.
"That farce with the police was the last straw. I was already really angry at Ali for monopolizing the phone and then slamming her bedroom door in my face when I yelled at her about it. Lisa wasn't there when that happened, and it would have upset her because she has told the girls time and again that door slamming isn't permitted. Not that they listen to her anyway. Then Ali pushed her mom against the stairs, and that's when I really lost it. Okay, I grabbed her arm, but I certainly wasn't hurting her or whatever crazy story she told the cops. By that time I was so furious I had to get out. I drove around for a while and stopped for coffee before going home. I tried to tell Lisa how sorry I was, but I'm not sure she believed me. I know I shouldn't take my anger at Ali out on her, but I just can't help it sometimes.
"I wish I could love Ali. God knows I've tried. But I'm beginning to think that letting her move in with her father would give us our lives back."
The Counselor's Turn
"Lisa and John were clearly in love," said the counselor, "but Ali's behavior eroded the connection that brought them together. They needed to move their marriage back to center stage.
"For that to happen, however, Lisa had to be convinced that being happy wasn't selfish. In truth, she was too nice. As a child she felt responsible for her mother's happiness; in her first marriage she assumed a similar role with her husband. As a mom her guilt over her divorce led her to be too lenient. But her permissiveness gave Ali too much power. 'Her actions are dictating your relationship,' I told them. 'That sends the message that she's in charge.'
"Living with a teenager is trying enough for biological parents; a stepparent feels even more powerless. 'Ali baits you in ways she'd never dare with her mom or dad,' I told John. 'You're the lightning rod for a host of issues, many of them age-appropriate. As crazy as this may sound, you can't take her attitude personally. Teens are still coming to terms with who they are and where they fit in the family.'
"Stepparents assume that because they love their partner they'll automatically love the person's children. 'You may never love Ali,' I explained to John. 'While that's sad, it's also okay. But you do need to find a way to get along.'
"Our sessions also helped clarify John's anger at Ken, which was so white-hot that at one point I asked, 'Could you be transferring your rage at Ken onto Ali?' John nodded as tears welled up in his eyes. This breakthrough helped him temper his attitude toward his stepdaughter.
"Yet life at home was not improving, despite our sessions. Finally Lisa made the wrenching decision to let Ali move in with her father. At the end of three months, Ali asked to move back. 'Living with Ken wasn't so great after all,' said Lisa. 'True, he didn't care about curfews — but he didn't really care about her, either. And the car he promised never materialized.'"
"A still-guarded Ali returned home and agreed to join Lisa and John for several sessions. This gave her a neutral setting in which to express her confusion and vulnerability. John's feelings softened, and Lisa acknowledged that she'd been lax with discipline and outlined new house rules. She repeatedly told Ali she loved her but that her behavior was unacceptable. All three signed a contract stating that Ali would lose privileges if she broke the rules.
"To strengthen their own romantic connection, John and Lisa began going out by themselves once a week, leaving Ali in charge at home. 'We want to show her that we trust her and that if she's trying, we'll try, too,' John said. He now spends time alone with Ali, inviting her to hit golf balls or to grab a bite together. He and Lisa also schedule regular family outings for the kind of fun that had fallen by the wayside in the turmoil of recent months.
"Over the next year the situation gradually improved. At a recent session, both John and Lisa expressed cautious optimism. 'Things are far from perfect,' Lisa said, reaching for her husband's hand. 'But last week Ali told me she loves John and knows that he truly loves all of us. That was huge.'"
Originally published in Ladies' Home Journal, December 2008.
Her teenage daughter from her first marriage and her second husband have never seen eye-to-eye. Now that she's a teenager, trouble seems to erupt at every opportunity and their marriage is suffering…
Her Turn
"I adore my husband, John, but my daughter is making us miserable," said a weary Lisa, 39, who's been married for six years and has two children, Ali, 16, and Cara, 12, from her first marriage. "Ali was 5 when her dad and I split up, and the divorce was rough on her. Now, 11 years later, Ali's still acting out, being disrespectful and insensitive to other people's feelings.
"Ken, my ex, is making matters worse. Suddenly this irresponsible father wants Ali to live with him. He tells her he won't impose a curfew the way John and I do — a perfectly reasonable 11:30 p.m. on weekends. He's even promised her a car! This kind of pie-in-the-sky nonsense is so typical of him.
"Ken and I got together at 17, married at 21 and divorced at 28. At first I was too young, or too infatuated, to notice how immature he was. Even after I wised up I struggled for years to make our marriage work. I wanted to get counseling, but he refused. Yet he was shocked when I left. That says it all.
"He has never remarried, and I think he's still mad at me for leaving because he never misses a chance to make my life difficult. To this day he'll promise to take the kids for the weekend, then never show. I can't count the times I've driven them over to his house only to find him gone. Or he'll drop the girls off hours behind schedule, throwing a wrench into our plans. This infuriates John, who then gets pulled into absurd arguments with Ken.
"The irony is that I tried so hard to do everything right. I met John four years after my divorce. He was charming, generous, and successful — he owns a printing business here in New York City — and I knew immediately I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But when it came to introducing him into the kids' lives, I took it slowly, as the experts advise. Cara is crazy about John, but he and Ali butted heads from the get-go."
"And it's not all her fault. John is a 'because-I-said-so' parent, whereas I try to explain my position and listen to the kids' side. John thinks I'm a pushover, that I'm too nice with them. Well, I've been told I'm too nice my entire life. I don't know any other way to be. I was an only child; my mother was a nurse and my father, who was an alcoholic, owned a dry-cleaning business. I spent most of my childhood trying to make my mother happy, without much success. She finally divorced my dad when I was in college.
"Now I feel like I'm headed for another divorce. Things really fell apart last Friday. I was still at the office — I'm a bookkeeper at a software firm — when John called, furious. Ali had been on the phone for three hours, ignoring the call-waiting signal so the auto mechanic he needed to speak to couldn't get through. Excuse me? He interrupts me at work to complain about the commonest teen behavior imaginable?
"When I got home John started yelling at me, which set me off. It was surreal — the two of us in this face-off, getting madder by the minute. And we never used to even raise our voices to each other.
"Then, as Ali was leaving to meet a friend, I noticed she was wearing her sister's necklace. Cara was at soccer practice and couldn't have given Ali permission to wear it, so I asked her to take it off. She refused and shoved me out of the way, knocking my head against the banister. John grabbed Ali's arm and she erupted like a volcano, racing to the phone and calling the police. Two police cars roared up to the house and an officer took her statement. Fortunately, she had calmed down somewhat and the police concluded that it was a false alarm. But after they left, John looked me in the eye, said, 'When she makes it to Broadway, give me a call,' and stomped out. I spent two hours in tears before he came back. He apologized, but I just feel so hopeless, like I'm losing my daughter and my marriage."
His Turn
"My stepdaughter has hijacked our marriage," said John, 52. "Ali was 9 when her mom and I met, and I really wanted to love her. But this kid has been a handful from day one. Cara, the little one, is flexible and lighthearted, but Ali is tightly wound and stubborn. She blames me for her parents' divorce, even though Lisa and I met years afterward. In her mixed-up mind, her parents would have gotten back together if I'd never come along.
"It kills me to see how torn up Lisa is about Ali. The spunky, upbeat woman I fell in love with is anxious and tearful, always waiting for the next storm to blow in. And it always does. We've tried grounding Ali, taking away privileges, bending over backward to please her. Nothing works. Nothing. She's always nasty. Believe me, this behavior wouldn't have been tolerated when I was a kid. My parents were old-fashioned, and when my dad gave an order, my brother and I followed it or faced the consequences.
"I'm not proud of the way I handle Ken, either, but the guy gets under my skin. Whenever Lisa and I have something special to do, he manages to mess it up. One Sunday a few years ago we were getting ready to go to my parents' 50th wedding anniversary party and had no idea where the girls were. When Ken finally showed up with them three hours late — he'd 'lost track of time,' he said, and didn't have his cell phone with him — I lit into him and the two of us ended up in an ugly shouting match. That still happens more often than I care to admit, even though Lisa always tells me it's pointless to engage him.
"Lisa actually makes things easier for him. He can barely be bothered to have the girls at his place, so she'll be the one who drives them there. My wife is loving, thoughtful, and kind to a fault. She hates it when people say she's too nice, but it's true. She lets people walk all over her.
"That farce with the police was the last straw. I was already really angry at Ali for monopolizing the phone and then slamming her bedroom door in my face when I yelled at her about it. Lisa wasn't there when that happened, and it would have upset her because she has told the girls time and again that door slamming isn't permitted. Not that they listen to her anyway. Then Ali pushed her mom against the stairs, and that's when I really lost it. Okay, I grabbed her arm, but I certainly wasn't hurting her or whatever crazy story she told the cops. By that time I was so furious I had to get out. I drove around for a while and stopped for coffee before going home. I tried to tell Lisa how sorry I was, but I'm not sure she believed me. I know I shouldn't take my anger at Ali out on her, but I just can't help it sometimes.
"I wish I could love Ali. God knows I've tried. But I'm beginning to think that letting her move in with her father would give us our lives back."
The Counselor's Turn
"Lisa and John were clearly in love," said the counselor, "but Ali's behavior eroded the connection that brought them together. They needed to move their marriage back to center stage.
"For that to happen, however, Lisa had to be convinced that being happy wasn't selfish. In truth, she was too nice. As a child she felt responsible for her mother's happiness; in her first marriage she assumed a similar role with her husband. As a mom her guilt over her divorce led her to be too lenient. But her permissiveness gave Ali too much power. 'Her actions are dictating your relationship,' I told them. 'That sends the message that she's in charge.'
"Living with a teenager is trying enough for biological parents; a stepparent feels even more powerless. 'Ali baits you in ways she'd never dare with her mom or dad,' I told John. 'You're the lightning rod for a host of issues, many of them age-appropriate. As crazy as this may sound, you can't take her attitude personally. Teens are still coming to terms with who they are and where they fit in the family.'
"Stepparents assume that because they love their partner they'll automatically love the person's children. 'You may never love Ali,' I explained to John. 'While that's sad, it's also okay. But you do need to find a way to get along.'
"Our sessions also helped clarify John's anger at Ken, which was so white-hot that at one point I asked, 'Could you be transferring your rage at Ken onto Ali?' John nodded as tears welled up in his eyes. This breakthrough helped him temper his attitude toward his stepdaughter.
"Yet life at home was not improving, despite our sessions. Finally Lisa made the wrenching decision to let Ali move in with her father. At the end of three months, Ali asked to move back. 'Living with Ken wasn't so great after all,' said Lisa. 'True, he didn't care about curfews — but he didn't really care about her, either. And the car he promised never materialized.'"
"A still-guarded Ali returned home and agreed to join Lisa and John for several sessions. This gave her a neutral setting in which to express her confusion and vulnerability. John's feelings softened, and Lisa acknowledged that she'd been lax with discipline and outlined new house rules. She repeatedly told Ali she loved her but that her behavior was unacceptable. All three signed a contract stating that Ali would lose privileges if she broke the rules.
"To strengthen their own romantic connection, John and Lisa began going out by themselves once a week, leaving Ali in charge at home. 'We want to show her that we trust her and that if she's trying, we'll try, too,' John said. He now spends time alone with Ali, inviting her to hit golf balls or to grab a bite together. He and Lisa also schedule regular family outings for the kind of fun that had fallen by the wayside in the turmoil of recent months.
"Over the next year the situation gradually improved. At a recent session, both John and Lisa expressed cautious optimism. 'Things are far from perfect,' Lisa said, reaching for her husband's hand. 'But last week Ali told me she loves John and knows that he truly loves all of us. That was huge.'"
Originally published in Ladies' Home Journal, December 2008.
Toothpaste cancer alert
Toothpaste cancer alert
By Mark Prigg, Science Correspondent And Rebecca Lawrence, Evening Standard
The Evening Standard London, Tuesday 13.01.09
Dozens of toothpastes sold at supermarkets are at the centre of a cancer alert today.
Anti-bacterial cleaning products, including dishwashing liquid and handwash, are also affected.
Researchers have discovered that triclosan, a chemical in the products, can react with water to produce chloroform gas. If inhaled in large enough quantities, chloroform can cause depression, liver problems and, in some cases, cancer.
An Evening Standard investigation found dozens of products on supermarket shelves containing the chemical, from brand names including Colgate, Aquafresh, Dentyl and Sensodyne.
Marks& Spencer confirmed today it was removing products containing triclosan from all its stores and has been working with Greenpeace to develop alternative products.
Asda said it was investigating the problem and would be urgently talking to its suppliers.
Giles Watson, a toxicology expert at wildlife charity WWF, warned that the long-term effects of exposure to chloroform were still unknown and advised consumers to check the bottles before buying products.
"These products produce low levels of chloroform, but that adds up over time. The amount of gas formed is very low but I think the key thing is that we just don't know what the effects are. However, manufacturers do have to list triclosan on their ingredients, so if consumers are worried the best advice is to avoid products with the chemical."
A Tesco spokesman said: "We do not use triclosan in any of our own-brand products, apart from one anti-bacterial handwash, which is being reformulated, and our toothpaste. We
believe that triclosan is a very effective ingredient in toothpaste as it helps fight gum disease and improve overall oral care."
The Department of Trade and Industry said use of triclosan was tightly controlled under EU laws brought in last year, but that they were under constant review.
Researchers in the US found that the chlorine added to water in Britain reacted with triclosan to produce chloroform-gas. They found that it was possible for the chloroform produced when soap containing the chemical mixes with chlorinated water to be absorbed through the skin or inhaled.
Professor Peter Vikesland, of Virginia Tech University, who carried out the research, said: "This is the first work that we know of that suggests that consumer products, such as antimicrobial soap, can produce significant quantities of chloroform." He has called for governments around the world to regulate the chemical more closely.
Products affected
Triclosan is in:
Dentyl mouthwash
Colgate Total fresh stripe
Colgate Total
Sensodyne Total Care
Tesco own brand toothpaste
Mentadent P; Aquafresh
By Mark Prigg, Science Correspondent And Rebecca Lawrence, Evening Standard
The Evening Standard London, Tuesday 13.01.09
Dozens of toothpastes sold at supermarkets are at the centre of a cancer alert today.
Anti-bacterial cleaning products, including dishwashing liquid and handwash, are also affected.
Researchers have discovered that triclosan, a chemical in the products, can react with water to produce chloroform gas. If inhaled in large enough quantities, chloroform can cause depression, liver problems and, in some cases, cancer.
An Evening Standard investigation found dozens of products on supermarket shelves containing the chemical, from brand names including Colgate, Aquafresh, Dentyl and Sensodyne.
Marks& Spencer confirmed today it was removing products containing triclosan from all its stores and has been working with Greenpeace to develop alternative products.
Asda said it was investigating the problem and would be urgently talking to its suppliers.
Giles Watson, a toxicology expert at wildlife charity WWF, warned that the long-term effects of exposure to chloroform were still unknown and advised consumers to check the bottles before buying products.
"These products produce low levels of chloroform, but that adds up over time. The amount of gas formed is very low but I think the key thing is that we just don't know what the effects are. However, manufacturers do have to list triclosan on their ingredients, so if consumers are worried the best advice is to avoid products with the chemical."
A Tesco spokesman said: "We do not use triclosan in any of our own-brand products, apart from one anti-bacterial handwash, which is being reformulated, and our toothpaste. We
believe that triclosan is a very effective ingredient in toothpaste as it helps fight gum disease and improve overall oral care."
The Department of Trade and Industry said use of triclosan was tightly controlled under EU laws brought in last year, but that they were under constant review.
Researchers in the US found that the chlorine added to water in Britain reacted with triclosan to produce chloroform-gas. They found that it was possible for the chloroform produced when soap containing the chemical mixes with chlorinated water to be absorbed through the skin or inhaled.
Professor Peter Vikesland, of Virginia Tech University, who carried out the research, said: "This is the first work that we know of that suggests that consumer products, such as antimicrobial soap, can produce significant quantities of chloroform." He has called for governments around the world to regulate the chemical more closely.
Products affected
Triclosan is in:
Dentyl mouthwash
Colgate Total fresh stripe
Colgate Total
Sensodyne Total Care
Tesco own brand toothpaste
Mentadent P; Aquafresh
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
so many hot babes, so little time
christine wong
éƒç´ ç´
anita chew
wa ka ka so pervy am i. . . ah well, just enjoy laaa and happy last day of 2008 ~ may 2009 be a more blessed happier year. . .
liddat luuuu
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
3 pussies
karena, just normal hottie laaa, normal?? wa ka ka yeah normal, regular hottie. . .
grace, same family name mahhh
fiona, net pal from xorpia . . . yonks ago
numero uno...no number 3...no 4...and still counting xD
jane jane frog eyes + cameron cam whore
yuanzhen + xD
rooben + ahaha
noted this day 18th December 2008
LET'S SEE HOW LONG DA SO-CALLED RELATIONSHIP l a s t s
wak ka ka
*evil laugh*
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
a long, boring chat
coolbabe™ says:
hellooooo!!!
coolbabe™ says:
are you in copywriting field
diamond PUG says:
yes
coolbabe™ says:
freelancing
diamond PUG says:
sure
coolbabe™ says:
cool..
coolbabe™ says:
can you send me your profile please
diamond PUG says:
all depends on the scope of work n payment
coolbabe™ says:
how do you charge
diamond PUG says:
relative --
coolbabe™ says:
i am currently pitching for rebranding to a company
coolbabe™ says:
and i am looking to work with a copywriter who is good and is trustable.
diamond PUG says:
no such word as "trustable"
coolbabe™ says:
hahaha
coolbabe™ says:
ok ok.
coolbabe™ says:
i made that up
coolbabe™ says:
but u get what i mean right
diamond PUG says:
ya
coolbabe™ says:
cool.
diamond PUG says:
difficult to work with some one new
diamond PUG says:
collection u know
diamond PUG says:
now i insist on 50% dwn 1st or else no go
diamond PUG says:
i can send u CV if u like
coolbabe™ says:
understand.
coolbabe™ says:
ok.cool
coolbabe™ says:
send to:
diamond PUG says:
e mail addy ?
coolbabe™ says:
if you are on, i'll have to sell you as one of my team member for the project
coolbabe™ says:
if you are more comfortable, we can meet up and talk about it.
coolbabe™ says:
and maybe you can let me know how you charge.
coolbabe™ says:
i believe this project will be a long term ones.
diamond PUG says:
k
diamond PUG says:
CV sent
diamond PUG says:
but yr email invalid!
coolbabe™ says:
...
coolbabe™ says:
how can it be invalid
coolbabe™ says:
hmm.m..
diamond PUG says:
Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:
cindy@increscoitl.com
Technical details of permanent failure:
PERM_FAILURE: DNS Error: Domain name not found
coolbabe™ says:
what's your email add
coolbabe™ says:
ahh..
coolbabe™ says:
incresco-itl
coolbabe™ says:
not increscoitl
diamond PUG says:
coolbabe™ says:
email sent to you
diamond PUG says:
yep got ya : missing "-" ah
diamond PUG says:
yr hp number? mine is ... 016
coolbabe™ says:
016 23..
coolbabe™ says:
eh.
coolbabe™ says:
so fast want me to pay you already
coolbabe™ says:
job is not done yet wei!
coolbabe™ says:
havent even got the job yet.
diamond PUG says:
hee hee
diamond PUG says:
chop chop - it's da advertising world whirl
coolbabe™ says:
be fair abit la
diamond PUG says:
can. . .
coolbabe™ says:
cool
coolbabe™ says:
ok..send already
diamond PUG says:
ok enuf TCSS - when's the deadline? ummm... wait a minute
diamond PUG says:
oreadi sent CV laa
diamond PUG says:
u plan the timing laa, nanti u think i work too fast pulak
coolbabe™ says:
hhahahaha
coolbabe™ says:
ok ok
diamond PUG says:
sheeessh, so easy to please
diamond PUG says:
wa ka ka
diamond PUG says:
marc sez u really lang lui worr
coolbabe™ says:
hahaha
diamond PUG says:
is that u?
coolbabe™ says:
dont listen to him.
coolbabe™ says:
yes it is..
coolbabe™ says:
she's me.
diamond PUG says:
k - i'll judge for meself when i see ya -- chked out yr blog yonks ago - u look hot
coolbabe™ says:
hahaha
coolbabe™ says:
which blog wei
d
iamond PUG says:
anyway gtg - work cya babe - stay hot, i mean cool, hot whatever
diamond PUG says:
ok not blog maybe it's yr msn profile? dunno 4got liao
coolbabe™ says:
ok!!
coolbabe™ says:
hahahahaha
coolbabe™ says:
alright koo!
coolbabe™ says:
keep in touch!
diamond PUG says:
already gave sms u but no reply - U STAY in touch ha ha
coolbabe™ says:
hahahahaha
coolbabe™ says:
i replied thru msn!!!!!
coolbabe™ says:
hahahahhaha
diamond PUG says:
ya kedekut wan - like me - fr Penang
diamond PUG says:
wei really gotta go la - altho so exciting chatting to u –
coolbabe™ says:
ok ok!
coolbabe™ says:
go!!!
coolbabe™ says:
hahaha
hellooooo!!!
coolbabe™ says:
are you in copywriting field
diamond PUG says:
yes
coolbabe™ says:
freelancing
diamond PUG says:
sure
coolbabe™ says:
cool..
coolbabe™ says:
can you send me your profile please
diamond PUG says:
all depends on the scope of work n payment
coolbabe™ says:
how do you charge
diamond PUG says:
relative --
coolbabe™ says:
i am currently pitching for rebranding to a company
coolbabe™ says:
and i am looking to work with a copywriter who is good and is trustable.
diamond PUG says:
no such word as "trustable"
coolbabe™ says:
hahaha
coolbabe™ says:
ok ok.
coolbabe™ says:
i made that up
coolbabe™ says:
but u get what i mean right
diamond PUG says:
ya
coolbabe™ says:
cool.
diamond PUG says:
difficult to work with some one new
diamond PUG says:
collection u know
diamond PUG says:
now i insist on 50% dwn 1st or else no go
diamond PUG says:
i can send u CV if u like
coolbabe™ says:
understand.
coolbabe™ says:
ok.cool
coolbabe™ says:
send to:
diamond PUG says:
e mail addy ?
coolbabe™ says:
if you are on, i'll have to sell you as one of my team member for the project
coolbabe™ says:
if you are more comfortable, we can meet up and talk about it.
coolbabe™ says:
and maybe you can let me know how you charge.
coolbabe™ says:
i believe this project will be a long term ones.
diamond PUG says:
k
diamond PUG says:
CV sent
diamond PUG says:
but yr email invalid!
coolbabe™ says:
...
coolbabe™ says:
how can it be invalid
coolbabe™ says:
hmm.m..
diamond PUG says:
Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:
cindy@increscoitl.com
Technical details of permanent failure:
PERM_FAILURE: DNS Error: Domain name not found
coolbabe™ says:
what's your email add
coolbabe™ says:
ahh..
coolbabe™ says:
incresco-itl
coolbabe™ says:
not increscoitl
diamond PUG says:
coolbabe™ says:
email sent to you
diamond PUG says:
yep got ya : missing "-" ah
diamond PUG says:
yr hp number? mine is ... 016
coolbabe™ says:
016 23..
coolbabe™ says:
eh.
coolbabe™ says:
so fast want me to pay you already
coolbabe™ says:
job is not done yet wei!
coolbabe™ says:
havent even got the job yet.
diamond PUG says:
hee hee
diamond PUG says:
chop chop - it's da advertising world whirl
coolbabe™ says:
be fair abit la
diamond PUG says:
can. . .
coolbabe™ says:
cool
coolbabe™ says:
ok..send already
diamond PUG says:
ok enuf TCSS - when's the deadline? ummm... wait a minute
diamond PUG says:
oreadi sent CV laa
diamond PUG says:
u plan the timing laa, nanti u think i work too fast pulak
coolbabe™ says:
hhahahaha
coolbabe™ says:
ok ok
diamond PUG says:
sheeessh, so easy to please
diamond PUG says:
wa ka ka
diamond PUG says:
marc sez u really lang lui worr
coolbabe™ says:
hahaha
diamond PUG says:
is that u?
coolbabe™ says:
dont listen to him.
coolbabe™ says:
yes it is..
coolbabe™ says:
she's me.
diamond PUG says:
k - i'll judge for meself when i see ya -- chked out yr blog yonks ago - u look hot
coolbabe™ says:
hahaha
coolbabe™ says:
which blog wei
d
iamond PUG says:
anyway gtg - work cya babe - stay hot, i mean cool, hot whatever
diamond PUG says:
ok not blog maybe it's yr msn profile? dunno 4got liao
coolbabe™ says:
ok!!
coolbabe™ says:
hahahahaha
coolbabe™ says:
alright koo!
coolbabe™ says:
keep in touch!
diamond PUG says:
already gave sms u but no reply - U STAY in touch ha ha
coolbabe™ says:
hahahahaha
coolbabe™ says:
i replied thru msn!!!!!
coolbabe™ says:
hahahahhaha
diamond PUG says:
ya kedekut wan - like me - fr Penang
diamond PUG says:
wei really gotta go la - altho so exciting chatting to u –
coolbabe™ says:
ok ok!
coolbabe™ says:
go!!!
coolbabe™ says:
hahaha
...just dreaming
THIS here is a merc evo 190E II in racing livery...a long time ago, but delicious IMHO to look at anyway. Yum.
Da Crew
oi oi oiii a metaphorical representation of the crew i currently am working with. pwoarrr cool huh? yeah rrrright. real cool.
oooh... another WHITE BULLY
Doggone it. I do adore dogs especially bulldogs. But I do hate picking up their shit ~ generally cleaning up after them. Well, my partner does all that but still...some body still has to do it. So, it's time to give them up for adoption. Dang.
Oh, well, have enjoyed them ~ so looks like it's about time to end another chapter of my life soon.
Monday, 17 November 2008
death in the family
On the day of 11 November 2008.
At 0800, after enjoying a cup of his favourite coffee, my father passed away in his wheel chair. He was 83. He had suffered a stroke earlier on October 8, 33 days ago.
Well, that was according to the nurse. Nobody knows the exact time. Nobody saw him go.
This is the entrance to view the open coffin. Obviously, nobody took pictures of the deceased.
This is one of the 2 lanterns stating the deceased age and family name.
At 0800, after enjoying a cup of his favourite coffee, my father passed away in his wheel chair. He was 83. He had suffered a stroke earlier on October 8, 33 days ago.
Well, that was according to the nurse. Nobody knows the exact time. Nobody saw him go.
This is the entrance to view the open coffin. Obviously, nobody took pictures of the deceased.
This is one of the 2 lanterns stating the deceased age and family name.
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Monday, 3 November 2008
G R E E T I N G S
IF you found yourself by way of my newly joined facebook welcome - nothing much here to see except mad, incoherent ramblings. . . so hi, bye.
Sunday, 2 November 2008
baby hippo heading this waaaay1
My dot has errr...umm... grown bigger, fatter! Hmmm...never mind, must just be puppy fat.
The stroke journey of my Papa
Hi
Thx for the more informative version of Pa2's journey...more informative being that when i speak with Mum all she's concerned with is how well he's eaten, doesn't tell me what u've described.
But did mention that u n Amber took him out in the w/chair.
Only this week his eating habit has improved according to Mum, she cooked porridge and he ate that plus papaya, banana and was OK with it...she sounded a lot happier than the last few weeks, but last nite, i may have stressed too much of the pressure areas, to tell/nag the nurses/amah to get Pa2 to sit up even for a couple of minutes to change position, we r paying for the care, correct, bro? Why r these people not doing their job, she's just too scared to tell them what to do, I simply stated it's common sense, if u sit too long on ur ass u'll feel numb, plus he doesn't have that feeling anymore on the affected side.
Mum seems to understand him, but obviously, he has to re-learn how to speak again.
Did u rec. my sms last wk, saying that i'm returning on the 18Nov. Will be good if u can come that w/e., please.
Don't think ur depressed, so am I! It's not only u OK, so don't go into one....
Take care
C2
Yo Chi Chi,
I guess mum is going into "denial". She refuses to accept that "somebody" has to foot da big, fat medical bills eventually!
It just does not get through to her! She even proudly announced to me that the bill for the so-far 11-day stay is a whopping RM1,600.
*jaw dropping sound*
Her taxi journey is RM14 a day. That works out to be 420 a month. I requested her to go on alternative days - not happening.
If you ask me to rate the nursing care, I'll say "D". So now he's off the drip, maybe we should consider sending him off to a less expensive place. But then again, I guess not yet - he can't even stand on his one leg with help! Too weak.
Tonight, I'll have to call mum and drill into her "what if" question. What if I can't pay for all this? Well, for now anyway. I'm knee-deep in credit card debt already. Papa could be bed-ridden for like, oh i don't know, another 4 years? At RM3k a mth, that would be RM144,000.
Physio is already RM40 a day. His special air bed to prevent bed sores (RM8 a day). And the food he refuses to eat, I don't know how much, so wasteful... plus, mum has to specially cook porridge for him.
Yes, all mum's replies are gushing happiness on what papa can consume.
As for the pressure points - we did discover one on his spine and had to tell the nurse to attend to it. Such is the "quality" of care!
Yep, noted that you'll be here on 18th, so yeah I'll be there on the weekend. How long will you be staying? Must be horrible for you, new job now gotta apply for long leave.
OK, got to go, writing from office - my PC at home got struck by lightning or virus or whatever, had to re-format, lost all my files, programs and internet connection. Sob.
C ya.
Thx for the more informative version of Pa2's journey...more informative being that when i speak with Mum all she's concerned with is how well he's eaten, doesn't tell me what u've described.
But did mention that u n Amber took him out in the w/chair.
Only this week his eating habit has improved according to Mum, she cooked porridge and he ate that plus papaya, banana and was OK with it...she sounded a lot happier than the last few weeks, but last nite, i may have stressed too much of the pressure areas, to tell/nag the nurses/amah to get Pa2 to sit up even for a couple of minutes to change position, we r paying for the care, correct, bro? Why r these people not doing their job, she's just too scared to tell them what to do, I simply stated it's common sense, if u sit too long on ur ass u'll feel numb, plus he doesn't have that feeling anymore on the affected side.
Mum seems to understand him, but obviously, he has to re-learn how to speak again.
Did u rec. my sms last wk, saying that i'm returning on the 18Nov. Will be good if u can come that w/e., please.
Don't think ur depressed, so am I! It's not only u OK, so don't go into one....
Take care
C2
Yo Chi Chi,
I guess mum is going into "denial". She refuses to accept that "somebody" has to foot da big, fat medical bills eventually!
It just does not get through to her! She even proudly announced to me that the bill for the so-far 11-day stay is a whopping RM1,600.
*jaw dropping sound*
Her taxi journey is RM14 a day. That works out to be 420 a month. I requested her to go on alternative days - not happening.
If you ask me to rate the nursing care, I'll say "D". So now he's off the drip, maybe we should consider sending him off to a less expensive place. But then again, I guess not yet - he can't even stand on his one leg with help! Too weak.
Tonight, I'll have to call mum and drill into her "what if" question. What if I can't pay for all this? Well, for now anyway. I'm knee-deep in credit card debt already. Papa could be bed-ridden for like, oh i don't know, another 4 years? At RM3k a mth, that would be RM144,000.
Physio is already RM40 a day. His special air bed to prevent bed sores (RM8 a day). And the food he refuses to eat, I don't know how much, so wasteful... plus, mum has to specially cook porridge for him.
Yes, all mum's replies are gushing happiness on what papa can consume.
As for the pressure points - we did discover one on his spine and had to tell the nurse to attend to it. Such is the "quality" of care!
Yep, noted that you'll be here on 18th, so yeah I'll be there on the weekend. How long will you be staying? Must be horrible for you, new job now gotta apply for long leave.
OK, got to go, writing from office - my PC at home got struck by lightning or virus or whatever, had to re-format, lost all my files, programs and internet connection. Sob.
C ya.
L'Occitane and how to pronounce it...
How do you pronounce the word L’Occitane?
Phonetically you pronounce our name "lox- ee- tahn".
What does “L’Occitane” mean?
L’Occitane means “the woman from Occitania”. Occitania is the name of the ancient geographic area in southern France, spanning from northeastern Spain to northwestern Italy.
http://usa.loccitane.com/FO/
Phonetically you pronounce our name "lox- ee- tahn".
What does “L’Occitane” mean?
L’Occitane means “the woman from Occitania”. Occitania is the name of the ancient geographic area in southern France, spanning from northeastern Spain to northwestern Italy.
http://usa.loccitane.com/FO/
Tuesday, 7 October 2008
sms from dotter, 15
06/010/08
22:37
Dad, pmr's next week. HAHA. You better pray hard. Haha. Want to go out after the week of pmr?
07/10/08
12:05
NO . I dun wan grandma .
I wan to cut hair only..Haha. And eat lunch. And get my ps2 and allowance. Haha. That's all kua.
13:35
Yer. You said you would after pmr (loan ps2) ... dun try to break ur promise. At least for this two months. I doubt next year i got time to play any way. Er. anywhere i find a good hairstylist who can give the perfect fringe? Umm.. 11am to wat time? I haven ask mummy. N i got dance class at 6pm. Wan come watch?
22:37
Dad, pmr's next week. HAHA. You better pray hard. Haha. Want to go out after the week of pmr?
07/10/08
12:05
NO . I dun wan grandma .
I wan to cut hair only..Haha. And eat lunch. And get my ps2 and allowance. Haha. That's all kua.
13:35
Yer. You said you would after pmr (loan ps2) ... dun try to break ur promise. At least for this two months. I doubt next year i got time to play any way. Er. anywhere i find a good hairstylist who can give the perfect fringe? Umm.. 11am to wat time? I haven ask mummy. N i got dance class at 6pm. Wan come watch?
Thursday, 24 July 2008
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